Who cares what I think about...


...Domain/Business Knowledge

Does an investment banker or an insurance company actually want us to understand their business? What a scandal would it be to know how they make money and to know own their system works in and out. But retailers, they fall easy prey I guess. I often wonder, do people know what it is to know the “business” of a client. Have we actually ever given them a course altering business solution? Aint we simply implementing business solutions that have been tried, tested and trusted? Then why do people go ga-ga over domain/business knowledge? They just like the words I guess…

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...The Western Commode


The commode in my office restroom is not grounded. You know what I mean? Like, it’s not attached to the ground. Instead it protrudes from the wall. And every time I sit on it, I marvel at the structure. How much of weight and pressure is this thing handling per day. I mean, it completely relies on the tensile (or whatever) strength of the small piece of piping that holds the bowl from the wall. And wouldn’t it be the most embarrassing thing ever if you were to sit on one, and it came crashing down???

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...Bees

Do bees get scared of gun shot? Like when u shoot in the air, all birds fly away. Will bees fly away too? I tried to google but didn’t get any answer.

But am thinking they don’t get scared. Otherwise Wundt people be jus shooting at honey combs? But then maybe that will make holes in the combs. Naahh….i dunno.

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...The Recession

After closing bathrooms in the nights, replacing milk in coffee vending machines with milk powder, I think it’s time companies come up with something drastic. Something which will help them earn and help us retain employment. Like…. Hundi at the entrance. People will have to make offerings in order to enter the office premises. Offering amount will be decided based on their job band. Starting at rupees 2 for housekeepers…and increasing henceforth. But if you are from certain companies were housekeepers earn more or equal to you, then talk to your HR and get the offering rate adjusted accordingly.

This would mean a meager 60 to say 600 rupees per person per month. But imagine how much the company will make. The money is on the pay roll. We are just making offerings. We are employed. They get the extra money. Seems impeccable. :) ouch…will the taxes take a bite? Better than losing ur job…

Other ideas include – employee stock options, bringing your own toilet paper, forced paternity leave and installing CISCO networking instead of having to travel onsite.

Btw…Karan Johar is making a animated verison of Kuch Kuch Hota Hai called “Koochie Koochie Hota Hai”. Which cost is he trying to cut down here??? Kajol’s make up cost??? Or maybe SRK’s… Whatever it maybe but now I truly believe recession has hit India.

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...Nose Booger

Hmmm…so how do strong smelling stuff clear your nose? What exactly happens? Is it just because your nostrils expand? In that case, it shouldn’t matter what you smell. Even a rose scented candle should do the trick. But no, it’s always camphor or vicks or axe oil or tiger balm. I was thinking it was the vapors. Like you know these things vaporize and the vapors are the ones clearing the blocks. But balms don’t vaporize. Zandu balm and tiger balm….do they vaporize???

Anyways, I have animatedly always imagined booger to be soldiers holding their hands and legs forming a spider web kind of formation at the gates of our nostrils and these strong smelling agents to be like kung fu fighters who jus go and kick ass out of the booger soldiers!

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...Pigs

(This is an old one, But one of my fav.)

I once got an sms which said “No pig has ever seen the sky”

Now, which pig exactly told you that???????

How does it make sense to make a statement as blunt as “No pig has ever seen the sky”? What kind of reaction am I supposed to give? Pity the poor being on its ignorance of the existence of the marvel called sky? Or should I take it further by wondering what pigs thought about rain and sunset and all the rest of the phenomenon to do with the sky.

To me, it would have made sense and made me a lil more knowledgeable if the sms said something like –“the structure of the spinal cord of a pig does not allow it to raise its neck and look upwards”. But no. People love writing small crisp sensationalizing lines as though they were headlines on Aaj tak.

Anyway, then one day I had this very intellectually stimulating conversation with a very wise friend of mine and I told him about the whole pig episode. After listening to everything he says” what if the pig was lying upside down? Then it would have seen the sky”

Well, that is what you get trained in IIMs for :) To figure out what we simple mortals cant.

Btw, all opinions presented above are my own and I have no idea if pigs can look up or not.

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I think...That's enough enlightenment for the night. I dont want u to be thinking as intelligently as I do !!! :D

6 Click and Speak:

Aarthi said...

Interesting read! But what random thoughts!! Only you can come up with these Brindz!!

skullz said...

:) seriously funny , especially the pig episode .. :D ...

Naarya said...

@ Aarthi: he!! he!!
@ Skullz: thnk u!! thnk u!! he!! he!!

Kamini Santhanagopalan said...

hehehe...had a very good laugh, brindz..thank you!! bayangara random thoughts, yet interesting...btw, antha IIM fellow who came up with this upside-down-pig thingy yaaru? namma Anand nu sollathey :D

Naarya said...

@ kamz: thnks! no..no...singam is not tht smart...had he been wud he be married to nut?! :P

Srivatsan said...

ayyo..unga intelligence paarthu en kannu koosudhu... lol! find out where this above line appears? :P

nalla yosika vechuteenga!

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